I almost fell again...

"It felt good, smelled good, tasted good yet it wasn't much different than what I've had before"

I almost got GOT!.  Falling for a man who ain't ready to be what I need and deserve however wants me to believe that I'm not ready. HELL I KNOW I ain't ready I'm busy working on me.  Maybe he's a distraction sent by the Universe to test me.  Maybe he's here for the purpose that he's here for and I'm trying to distort it with my humanness?  Whatever the case my eyes are WIDE open now. 

I won't be punked by Kutcher or anybody else.  I acknowledge that it feels good, sounds good and puts an intense smile on my heart (which by the way has been functioning at below normal happiness for a minute now) however anything more than that is a NEGATIVE.  I can't hold it, keep it, it ain't MINE to own or possess so it's just an illusion right? 

I won't belittle it, for whatever it is with us, is real and comforting when it's there however it ain't been much more than that in reality.  I would love to get lost in the potential but I can't be that kinda fool again.  I'll be a different kinda fool but sorry I've been that idiot before for someone else. 

So with  my eyes open I engaged my mouth and thoughts and spoke what I observed and  *crickets then again it IS football Sunday  anywho... I ain't about to lose no sleep or time on it.  Off I go to my next at home adventure.