My first new year reflection

Some won't understand this...it's okay it's not for you that I write.

I'm in a year of relationships: family, job, romantic, platonic...relationships no matter how you look at it.  In the past couple of weeks (because those that understand NRG know that it begins to shift around the 21st of the mth) I've been encountering relationships from my past.

I was flattered at first, the gentlemen who reappeared into my life wanting to reconnect with me and so in hesitation I phoned a new friend (another relationship) and said "DON'T FUCK THIS UP!" she laughed.  See she understood I wasn't speaking to her but to me through her.  I was very clear that although these guys were calling me, texting me, FB'n me, Tweet'n me that it was NOT for the purpose that one would see on the surface.

I had already been warned about this NRG approaching and I had been prescribed what to do...now my task was to remember what to do.  See my humanness, would immediately take it as flattery and assume that finally someone was here for me. NOT the case. These guys are here for me but not FOR me.  Some are here to repent (sort of make up for an eff up from some years ago) others seek some answers and possibly closure on the possibility of what they once felt. (could we be together?)  Others are just wounded and I know that I am a light that draws them near.  Key is...

DON'T FUCK THIS UP...keep your head on straight and just breathe through it all.

This shouldn't be too difficult.  See it's not just guys it's females as well. Not in a romantic wanna be with me sense but as friends. All of these relationships speak to the character of who I am becoming.  Some will bring baggage as reminders of who I was and where I've been. Temptations to revisit old habits that will take me off path or severely delay my forward progress.  All have the potential to become MAJOR distractions so

DON'T FUCK THIS UP...keep your head on straight and just breathe through it all.

I know that there are lessons that are being placed in front of me. Learning to love differently, mother differently, speak and listen differently. I'm working hard to get this lesson.  I have slipped already a few times and my feelings were bruised as a result.  Not even 15 days in and I'm in reflection mode. I guess that's a good sign.

Just DON'T FUCK THIS UP...